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Posted: Sunday, February 10, 2013 12:03 AM

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BULLING; IT HAS TO STOP --- PEOPLE ARE DYING!

Here's my story, it's been a long time coming. As usual I just say
what I think, putting it straight between the eyes, it is what it is.

Maybe it will save just one person from going too far. Weather it's
the person being tormented and committing suicide or the
bullies realizing, maybe their going to far, along with the
teachers,parents, and others that see things they ignore. I've
wanted to write about this for so many years, with all these
kids committing suicides and school shootings, etc ...
maybe its time to say it, straight between the eyes.

I know several people will get defensive. For those that
do,ask yourself, why your so defensive and then look close
to home.

Well here goes:

I'm sure some things are different now days, although
the situations are similar I'm sure.

I moved from the city (Birmingham, Alabama) to this small
community about 35 miles south of Birmingham, Alabama people
seemed friendly enough, they wanted to meet you and be nice to
you. That was until they realized you were a little different,
you didn't "hang"in their groups, so to speak. Being in one of
the groups" THE IN CROWD" I call it.

By being in one of these groups you were now one of them,
"the in crowd" you could do no wrong in the eyes of the
parents, teachers, preachers, church members, etc ....
and if you did,it seemed to be over looked, i.e ..
"their a good kid, they just made a mistake". So, to
their parents, friends, preacher's,church members,things
they hear or see about them, seem to be overlooked more
often than not.

By being in one of the groups it usually meant that
you picked on or made fun of other people (just going
along with your group, its not really hurting anyone),
it also usually meant you were most Iikely drinking,
smoking pot etc ... (now days other drugs and things
more than then I suppose). Remember these are the good
kids, "the in crowd". They go to church every Sunday,
participate in sports and other activities.
They couldn't do anything like this (Well not as long
as they were around their parents, going to church, etc)

WAKE UP PEOPLE, you can't be that easy to con, you know
what's going on, but again, you just choose to ignore it
because if you say anything, you won't be part of your
"in crowd" any longer, maybe you'll have a conflict with
someone in your group because you care enough to say
"stop that, it's not nice or it's wrong",
(so are they really your friend). It's time to stand up
and say "enough". Speak up on what you really think, know
and see, this has got to stop. If not, your just part of
it.

Don't forget parents, YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO BE WHO AND
HOW THEY ARE by your actions, your words, what you do or do
not accept being done or said.

BY NOT RUNNING WITH "THE IN CROWD", YOU NOW BECOME THE TARGET.

My torment, other than all day verbal abuse and down grading
comments in front of everyone, including teachers, parents,
etc ... was being put in lockers with stuff being sprayed
though the holes in the doors or being picked up by my neck
and held up against a wall, along with many other things I
won't get into, although I will detail just a few later on
in this note. ALL this going on while other students
AND TEACHERS walked my, none or which ever once stopped,
not once and said, hey, stop that.

I guess they really didn't think I heard their down grading
comments about me as I walked by, that really hurt, when all
I wanted to do was have friends. Although, if having friends
meant being like "the in crowd", I'm glad I only had a few,
because they were true friends.

"Friend", isn't that someone who accepts you as you are, not
because you do everything they do or you agree with them on
everything.

What was worse, no one, other than a few people, 2 in particular,
(friend 1 and friend 2) my whole time this local school stood up
and said, hey stop that, its mean. Friend 1, was one of the
"in crowd" and friend 2 was a drop out who had a bad reputation.
Although when I hung around with friend 2 he never, not once did
any of the things (drinking, drugs, stealing etc .. ) that he had
the reputation for, he was just a nice person who didn't have
many friends either. Friend 1, was and I guess to this day is
a good person, he saw what was going on and made efforts to
stop it.

My point here is, I guess the people, "the in crowd" had started
these rumors, just as they had done with me on a few things to
cover their actions so their parents, teachers and church members
would look at other people, like me different, so it would cover
what they actually did when they were out, so they could say
"it wasn't me or us" , it was that bad kid.

After my taste of this I realized what hypocrites most of these
good church going people were and stopped caring anything
about participating in church, school etc ... I know what
type person I am vs. who they really are. Myself, instead
of hanging with the crowd, I worked before and after school.
I just did things right throughout my life and made good
life for myself.

Here's a few of those other things that just stick out in my mind:
(there are so many others)

Once again, some of the in crowd, were holding me against a wall
at the drink machines and taking my money. A teacher walked by,
he stopped and said -"hey if your going to do that, do it where
I cant see it". WOW! What kind of statement did that make, guess
it's ok to do it as long as he doesn't see it . I later ask that
teacher why he didn't help. I was paddled by him for "questioning"
his comment. A very hard paddle, by today's standards it would be assault.
I felt the first hit of the paddle, then my butt went num.
Later that night I looked in the mirror to see a very black
bruised butt. I never said anyhing to anyone, I regret that
to this day.

I wasn't the sports minded type of kid, so again I was not part
of "the in crowd". During PE I didn't care to play football
because the abuse was extremely hard, the bullies
(and of coarse some of the other kids went along with it,
I guess so they could feel part of something). They would ensure
I got hit harder over and over. Seems the coach would notice,
huh. After this because I didn't play, I was then punished by
the coach, usually having to stand in one spot holding something
heavy for the entire class. I won't even get into the things
that would happen if I had to use the shower room with those
same bullies.

Later on, a week or so, in that same teachers class
(the one from the drink machine) one of the bullies sitting
behind me kept slapping the back of my head while making rude
coments out loud about me, I ask the teacher to please move
me to another seat, I was told to just deal with it. So did,
next time he slapped the back of my head I turned around and
squarely popped him between the eyes an knocked him out of
his chair. That was the very first time I had ever hit anyone.
That's where it got interesting, now with all this going on,
the class knew and most importantly the teacher knew.
The bully went to the front of the class and ask the teacher
if he could speak with me outside, the teacherscomment again,
"Just wait until class is over and deal with it", WOW another
one of those statements just saying it's ok. Later on
when we got out of class, as I expected the bully came
after me (with everyone gathering in the hallway to watch),
luckily I got a very good punch in and the bully went down,
(although he was getting up a would have pulverized me),
but by now another teacher had stepped in. Took us to the
principles office, which also keep in mind knew all that had
been going on the past few years with theses bullies.
The principle actually said we had to be paddled or suspended,
I would not accept either, I was the one being bullied
and defending myself. Well, that was my last day in school,
I quit on the spot, I was not going to tolerate being bullied
and it being condoned by most everyone.

These are just a few of many things that happened, my point
here is. All this was seen and heard by teachers and nothing
was ever said or done to stop it. I guess they were afraid to
have any contlict with parents of the popular "in crowd"
students, then they would become the outcast or the one
distanced away from the in crowd.

This next part is for those being bullied:

First I'd like to say I fully understand your feelings,
wanting things be over or walking into a school with a AK47.
Although that will not change a thing with these bullies,
you'll be the only one noticed and seen as the one with issues
and the bullies will still be doing the same things.
Please just continue doing things right and be patient,
things will work out, usually better for you than
for them.

Stay strong, your day will come. Don't be afraid to talk
things out with someone. There are people who do care.
Actually, after all these years I came across that teacher
and told him what he did, I could clearly see he remembered,
he apologized. I felt like so much had been lifted off my
shoulders after that conversation.

I've had a very good life, made a lot of money and pretty
much done anything I wanted. By doing the right things and
not letting the bullies of the world get me down. Everyone's
situation and lives will be different, just stay strong,
do the right things.

One day you'll look back at those that tormented you and laugh.

Do not let them get you down, when they do, they win.

I look around now and see some of "the in crowd" from my old
school days, I see several of them, grown adults, with nothing
to show for their life, always in trouble with the law, in and
out of jail or prison, in and out of rehab several times, married
and divorced multiple times, can t get or keep a job, back living
with their parents, etc ... Several of them seem to get "God"
in their life, start preaching and of coarse passing around
the collection plate. To me they WILL ALWAYS be the bully.

Now to be fair, not everyone that's in a group are bullies.
Although, more times than not these other groups saw what was
going on and ignored it, maybe if one of them spoke out or
befriended someone they saw being bullied or abused. That would
go a long way to make a statement that its not ok to treat someone
like that.

Although, I do admit it feels really good to see how the life
of some of those that tormented me in school turned out.
So please don't let them get you down, your life will work
out fine.

Again, one day you'll look back and laugh at those bullies and
pity their unfortunate lifes.

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